Friday, April 20, 2007

Saudi Arabia, heaven or hell?

It's been almost three months for me now in Saudi Arabia. And I can tell you it's not bad at all, Thank God. I have decided that I will be using this blog to tell people more about Saudi Arabia, and try as much as I can to prove the stereotypes, that we hear and come to unintentionally believe, wrong.

I will start by saying that no place is perfect. Just as no one is. So as we start weighing the good and bad of Saudi, we should not be comparing it to the perfect image we have in our minds about the place we would wish to live in, which might most resemble heaven.

Saudi Arabia is a place of a special culture that is initially derived from Islam, from the fact that Saudi Arabia was the land in which Islam was revealed to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), and from being, up till the very moment, the land the hosts Al Kabaa and the mosque of Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) among many other holy places.

Saudi Arabia is mostly accused for being too conservative, where women are almost "jailed" in their houses. I don't deny that KSA is a conservative country, where they TRY to abide by Islam to the pieces. I agree as well that some of their "traditions" are not purely Islamic; an example of this is forbidding women from driving. This contradiction here is not a fault of Islam. It comes from the fact that there are 2 sources that dictates the traditions, habits and behaviors here. These two sources are the religion, and the inherited culture of the Saudis. What happens that while we TRY to abide by Islam we mix it up with what the culture dictates. And here comes the contradiction and the confusion.

Here in KSA, (and I am talking about the current time not any time in the past as things are dramatically changing here) they don’t claim that it is an Islamic decision to forbid women from driving. But they know that for the time being, this is the best to be done. Why? Because this law has been stated long time ago, so drivers are not at all used to the idea of a woman driving. Hence, in meantime, it would be a dangerous decision to allow women to drive as they will be attacked and pushed to accidents by other drivers (bear in mind what crazy drivers they are). Therefore, since great changes in culture and mindsets can not be achieved overnight, a transition period is needed, until minds are shifted and it becomes socially acceptable,. This is not to say that the as-is situation is perfect. I am just trying here to make things a bit clearer about the reasons why things happen the way they do.

I still have so many things I would like to discuss and much more positive aspects of the KSA. But it will become a very long post and might turn into a boring one. So I will cut it into multiple ones. Hopefully the next one will include some pictures.

In the upcoming posts, I intend to speak about the "Abaya", things you can do in KSA, faces of technology that is applied to make life easier, women's work and many more. To make this a comprehensive exercise, I will as well speak about the weak points that can make your life miserable.

The one point that I will try to remind you about in this series of posts is that no place is perfect. And wherever you come from, you were not in heaven. You were in another place which yet has its pros and cons. And since you left it and decided to live in KSA, then it's because you have seen that at least for the time being, and in one or more aspects, KSA is better for you than any other place you could be in.

82 comments:

Qwaider قويدر said...

Good to hear that you guys are doing great ... I miss reading your blog. You've been dormant for a while :(
How's Sari doing? I'm sure he's very happy and excited that his sweetheart is there to share the world with him... and That's what matters.

I think if two people love each other, they can go to hell and make it a home sweet home for them and enjoy every moment of it

The issue of women driving is Saudi is really simple, they should allow it. No need for any transition or what ever. The Saudi Men travel, and see women all around the world driving and have no issues with that. Why is it a problem when a woman in Saudi Arabia drives!?

The idea is that they don't want to allow women to go loose and travel on their own because a woman needs a Mi7rem at all times! Something that really needs to change.

Anyway ... It's wonderful to hear from you guys again, and insha2allah you will have GREAT time there

who-sane said...

forbidding women to drive comes mostly from the lack of trust and confidence in the Saudi people and also to protect women from Saudi men. It's a long way till the mentality changes there and that's when changes such as these become acceptable.

nido said...

Welcome back Reem! I knew you would be neutral about this all...I hope you guys are doing well, and inshallah we'll hear that you got a good job over there:) As for driving there, I heard the Saudi girls themselves saying the same thing you've said, and THEY -the girls- believe that it's not going to be easy for them to start driving now, and it needs a lot of preparation to start it!
As for Qwaider's, it's not because they need a ma7ram all the time, remember that the girls there have drivers, international drivers, from all over the world! and they drive the girls alone to wherever they need to go...

Qwaider قويدر said...

Don't get me started on how they consider other "humans" not even people ... they don't exist... ! If he's Pakistani or Indian... he's not even Male ...!

Reem said...

Qwaider: thanks for the worm welcome, but i have to disagree, I didn't say it right or it shouldn't be allowed, it's just that the mentality really needs to change here, I used to be more aggressive than you are about it, but when I came here and saw things myself I got convinced, not that it's right, but that it needs lots of preperations. I will raise this in my next post. One other things, Humans are Humans everywhere, being an indian does not degrade a man from belonging to minkind, ra7 tza3ilni minak ya 3onsoree :)

Who-sane: Welcome to our blog, You have a point, and it's true, since men are not yet civilized here, women need protection, you have to come see what crazy drivers they are, women cann't really put up with driving that way.. women tend to be soo careful and calm in their driving, which you can't have here!

Nido: This is exactly my point, when you live here, you understand that the scociety is not yet ready..I agree on everything you say.

kinzi said...

Hi Reem! Min zamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! Good to hear from you, and I look forward to more!

Yazan Ashqar said...

i think that there isn't a law to forbid women from driving, as i heard once on televsion from a saudi official, but its a social thing. Women in desert areas drive without anyone forbidding them..

Anyway, Hell is on the road to heaven..for good muslims, and saudi is something like that!

Isam Abu Salhieh said...

hey this is the first time i read ur blog ...

I've been living in KSA for 7 months and i'm hating every moment of it ... so i will be on guard to ur posts and my comments will demonstrate the 2nd opinion :)

a sort of "aletejah al mo3akes" :)

have a nice stay ...

Expat in RasTanura said...

Hello Reem.

Where in Saudi Arabia are you?

My husband, three children, and I have been in Saudi Arabia for four weeks now.

Reem said...

Kinzi: Ya it's been a long time, I'm happy im Back.

Yazan: I think you are right, So it's kind of a social law...

Isam: Welcome to our blog. I'm actually happy to find someine to demonstrate the other side of the coin.. Are you married?

Expat in rastanura: I live in Riyadh... how about you? How is it going so far?

Balqis said...

True that no place is perfect but normally one tries to improve conditions without saying that people are not used [like the driving issue] so is better not to start new things .

Qwaider قويدر said...

Reem, ya binti ... I was talking about how THEY view others, not me!
:(
And so is the case with everyone ... once you're there .. you sort of accept and understand and even justify

Reem said...

Balqis, We are not saying we dont want to change coz people are not used to some things, I am just trying to make it clearer why things are the way they are and why it takes long time to change, we definately want to change to the better, and so do they beleive me.

Qwaider: Opps, i mis-read your comment, Sorry! I think that's true, it's kind of you understand the society more ans so it easier to accept it.

Mohanned Al-arabiat said...

If all of our problems come from women driving cars, then I want more..Don't forget that KSA was the breeding land for the takfeeri mentality and wahabism, it is people from the KSA who changed our world, it is thier education and shiekhs that made our life more miserable...I hope that you will be able to analyze this kind of issues, not driving..
Good blog, and keep up..

Isam Abu Salhieh said...

Reem : no am not :) and i live in jeddah ... which is supposingly better than Riyadh ... but still i find it very strange ...

waiting for your posts :)

Reem said...

Mohammad: This was just a start, I think I mentioned that i will be talking about many other issues, both positive and negative. But I am not sure I'm familiar with the topics you brought up so i might not talk about them!!

Isam: Good luck! you should get married :) you will have a family that will keep you busy!!

Anonymous said...

Hello,

I came across this blog as I was surfing the net trying to learn more about Saudi Arabia and the living conditions there!

I currently work with a Gov't Contracting company and one of my interests is to take on an International Assignment abroad.
We have offices in Saudi Arabia and I am still researching the life style and hopefully learn anything before I make that big decision; and move there!
You guys seem very happy, and enjoy your new lives in Saudi Arabic...:)

Thank you,

Ahlam

sharpaylover1120 said...

Aloha from Hawaii.....Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I am so sorry that you are not yet allowed to drive yet! i feel so sad for my fellow sisters in Saudi....Let me tell you when you get the freedom to do it- you will love it! It is so much fun to go anywhere you want and feel the wind in your face and go anywhere you want! You must come to amercia and experience it as soon as you can save up to come! You can drive my car and we will have a pineapple ice cream together and you can see what it will feel when you finally get the chance, and the men let you drive. Let me tell you, it is so wonderful to be able to say whatever your heart feels and not have to worry about being arrested! It is magnificent! I am so happy and fulfilled as a woman over here. God is so awesome to me to allow me such happiness and be free of the bondage men place on my poor dear sisters is saudi. I am a mother of three beautiful daughters...and we are truely free and love God so much! We can write anything we want and no government is watching us to make sure we say what they want us to say. Can you imagine? M y heart breaks for you- tho i know you are happy in some respects, it is like you are riding on a bicycle and i am flying in a jet! Please come to Hawaii where i live when you can. We will praise God together and sit on the sand and i will show you my world...in my america..i pray for you daily and hope your freedom of speech and respect as a woman, you will receive my darlings....
Blessings and aloha from Hawaii
Deep , strong wishes for your freedom!!!!! Michele Marie

sharpaylover1120 said...

anyone can reach me by emailing me at chelebelle1999 at g mail . com where i am happy to speak to you about my life in hawaii , and as a woman in america! I am a personal gourmet chef and a wedding planner over here in hawaii..wanna get married in hawaii?? hehehe also i am finishing my degree in University of Hawaii looking forward to becoming a doctor of Psychology and having my own practice God willing... I must admit, i worry for you all over there...please be careful and dont do anything that can getyou arrested or hurt ok? I am praying hard you will be liberated one day and enjoy the real lives you as women were meant to have. I love you all- Be well and stay safe..and if i never see you on earth- i will see you in heaven, ok? blessings to you! email me and we will chat! aloha and mahalo from hawaii!!!
chele

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