Thursday, January 11, 2007

فليقل خيراً أو ليسكت

People tend to give negative feed back on whatever you are planning to do. If you are planning to get married, they will tell you that you are very late in arrangements. They will tell you how hard and unhappy your life will be one the honey moon finishes.

About our plans to move to KSA, they can't stop convincing me how hard it's going be to live there. How boring, reminding me that I can't drive and assuring me I won't find a job.

In the process of finishing my papers to move there, they keep putting me down telling me that it will take very long time. Narrating stories of people who stayed apart foe years!!! Before EID, they assured me that there is NO WAY that Sari can get his papers done to come!!!

Why do people like to close doors in your face?
Why do they try so hard to kill every hope you have?
Haven't they heard our beloved prophet saying: "فليقل خيراً أو ليسكت"??
Why do they look to the empty half of the glass?

The problem is, they talk to you as if they know your stuff better than they do!
If I see anyone who has lived in KSA 15 years ago, they will act as if I know nothing about my own issue or about rules and they are the only ones who know!! I haven't asked them for their opinion in the first place!

Why are people so negative? Why do they interfere so much? Why do they assume that you are an idiot who can't plan his life without their intrusive input?

I'm not going to listen to any of them. I will actually tell them they are wrong, I will tell them they don't know better than I do. And I will tell them either to say something good or shut-up. I don't want to hear any depressing opinions!!!


Qwaider قويدر said...

I don't think people deliberatly want to put you down (although many do) But some (and you know who these are) care and really love you so much that they try to advise you.
The good thing is that, things always change and what doesn't work for someone might work for you.

Sometimes people feel obligated to mention the negative stuff so you would know what to expect and so that you don't get in a shock

Don't worry about anyone, and just do what you think is best for you, your lovely husband and you little family...

Reem said...

I disagree walla ya qwaider!! for example, When I tell somone that i'm moving to KSA, they can just say "allah ywaf2kom inshalla you will enjoy" instead they start listing the bad things about it! Do they think i'm ignorant enough that i decided to move without knowing how life looks like there? why none of them mention anything postive? I feel I can't express myself well!! I hope you get my point!

Qwaider قويدر said...

على فكرة بس تصحيح.. الحديث هو "فليقل خيرا او ليصمت" بس حبّيت اعدّل..
الحديث كامل:من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الاخر فليقل خيرا او ليصمت وهو كناية عن النهي عن اللغو و الثرثرة
و بتقدروا تمسحوا هاد الكومنت او تعدلو عليه
I know what you mean Reem, and I totally sympathize with you ... Just tell everyone to shutup about it and that you already know. Tell them nicely that you appreciate thier concern but, you have made up your mind
And it's not like you're going to akher el dinya ... it's just couple of hours away from Amman!

nido said...

I'm not trying to lie in order to make you feel better, but i'll only be honest in telling you that I enjoyed my time in riyadh, i know i didnt live there, but its really not as bad as people might be telling you! u can find a job there too. they need you there. they asked me twice to go to riyadh and teach girls in an institution. they have female teachers from all over tha arab world. it's "ma3had al-nahdah". i visited some families too,who live in a complex, they werent complaining, except for missing home, and we all do miss home no matter where we go. twakkali 3ala Allah, and it's going to be easier than you think!

Reem said...

Qwaider: You are right, there are too version one is فليقل خيرا او ليصمت and the other isفليقل خيراً أو ليسكت. Thanks.

Nido and Qwaider: I'm actually looking forward to going there. I am sure i will enjoy it. and I know i will find a job, Uptill now and before I even arrive there i had 3 people asking me for my CV coz they are in need of girls to work. I was talking about the idea itself. I just used KSA as an example since i had enough of it. I wanted to discuss the attitude itself rather than the topics they nag on!

إيهاب said...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
سبحان الله الذي يجعلنا نلتقي دونما تخطيط مسبق ، نلتقي عبر صفحات هذه الحياة او صفحات افتراضية على الشبكة العنكبوتية...بعضنا يمر مرور الكرام وبعضنا يترك أثرا ما سواء كان سلبيا او إيجابيا_نسأل الله أن نكون ممن يتركون الأثر الإيجابي دائما.
من تجربتي المتواضعة مع أصناف البشر أعتقد جازما أن "معاول الهدم" في كلام معظم من يحيطون بنا ناتجة عن حسد و/او فلسفة وبالطبع عن قلة وعي ديني والبعض ناجم عن اجتهاد خاطيء في التعبير عن الحب لنا!
كما تفضلتم ، يحاول احدنا طرح فكرة مشروع ما فيستل المعظم من حوله معاول الهدم ويبدؤون بقتل عزيمته وإحباط معنوياته ، فهذا يبين المساويء ويضخمها، وهذا يقتل الأمل قبل المحاولة وذلك يصورنا على اننا جهلة لا نعي مصلحتنا وتلك تدلي بتجاربها الشخصية وتريدنا أن نرى العالم من منظورها الضيق وتلك تحدثك عن " سلفة مرة خال ابن جوز خالتها"! ..الخ
لن أقول لك أن تطلبي منهم أن يخرسوا! فنحن لا نريد ان نجرحهم او نسبب فجوة اعمق بيننا وبينهم ، ببساطة لك أن تستمعي لهم وابتسامة خفيفة تعتلي محياك والفكرة الراسخة في عقلك :
"لقد سعيت جيدا وأحطت الموضوع معرفة واستشرت الثقات العقلاء" ..عندها ستزداد ابتسامتك اتساعا من رضاك عن قرارك من جهة وإشفاقا على حال المتفلسفين من حولك.
وبالتأكيد لا يوجد ما هو أفضل من صلاة الإستخارة التي من خلالها نوكل الله في أمورنا بعد ان نكون سعينا وأخلصنا السعي.
لن نستطيع تغيير العالم ، لكن بالتأكيد نستطيع حماية أنفسنا من أن تقع فريسة لمعاول الهدم المسلطة على أفكارنا وأحلامنا.
وفقكم الله لما فيه خير دينكم ودنياكم وكتب الله لكم السعادة الدائمة في ظل طاعته.
أشكركم لإتاحة الفرصة لي لخط بعض الكلمات لكم ولمن يقرأ مدونتكم.