Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Confused, and a bit upset!
It's so ironic how life keeps surprising us. Few months ago I was feeling lost; not because I didn't know where I was going but because I didn't feeling I was at the right place at all.
Every while and then anyone of us would feel the need of change, the need of joining in a new company with a new atmosphere, the need to improve and impress more people with your talents.
So this is what happened to me, suddenly and out of the blue, I decided to change my career path; it was obvious I am going to do, especially with the huge numbers I am being offered from other companies outside Jordan, the low future opportunities and the minimal attention I am receiving from mine. It raised my ego being wanted, and also raised my worries about staying in my company. So after all I decided to go and explore more opportunities.
But it seemed like opportunities were looking for me this time. One afternoon, I was shocked with someone calling me asking to see me for an interview. I went there and met him. He seemed to be a very nice businessperson with a good package in his basket (how do I know? Good question! Well, it's my talent to know people). It was a good interview, I think I fulfilled his needs and impressed him that he almost asked me to get back with him and start immediately.
I still don’t have anything solid yet. Although I have always rejected all the offers I got to go outside Jordan (for my family's sake, nothing else), it seems that I am now ready to take the trip for a better future (hopefully).
And I started thinking that I should work on creating a strong team to handle all my responsibilities around here, and so my leave would go more smoothly. There will still be gaps that only me can cover due to personality and experience I have, but I can't hand those over (Thank GOD!).
Although I was happy with how things evolved, I somehow began to have second thoughts about it and felt I did a mistake that I was going to leave my manager, who is my friend initially (in everything except money!!)
And I got stuck in this trap, until a friend advised me to take a look at the overall picture, listen to the ongoing debates in the company, and see where we are standing at the time being. Then it suddenly hit my mind, this golden rule that says: Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
I became very loyal to my company and manager, while I was just another employee there!
I looked around I found my self in a very good position, I am a key person to my company and to My VIP clients as well. Nevertheless, I won't get any further with the current procedures and policies at the company. I had to face it; the world is running around someone else these days.
Why Am I so upset now?
After I almost took my decision of leaving and moving ahead in my life, my destiny has a surprise for me!
We are having what we call the storm of resignations at the company; I won't talk about the reasons of those resignations because I don’t know for sure if what I heard was the real ones. However, I will talk about what happened to me after the news had spread all around.
Ironically, I was suddenly pulled up to the highest and most important level in the company, higher even than the level of the owner himself! Of course without the boy driving my car or an open account in my bank.
What really bothers me here is not the change or the conflict I had with the options on the table. It’s the way how things changed in the company, I know now that I can ask for anything I want do whatever I want.
What I really don’t know is: wasn’t it so obvious for my manager that he had gambled on the wrong horse for a long time? The funny thing is that he expected to collect the same number from his second best horse. Ignoring that in life there is no such in-between decisions. Wasn't it clear for him which horse was going to win?
I wonder, do I really make others my priority while I am their option? Do I have to emphasize every single task and achievement to my manager in order to get his full attention? Or may be as ReemO always says, I just expect too much from others….